During the wedding rehearsal in Niagara Falls, New York, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.”
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”
Barack, age 92, and Michelle, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll near Central Park in New York City to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Barack suggests they go in. Barack addresses the man behind the counter: ‘Are you the…
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“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market,” said the man. “Sounds…
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Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a “marriage of the 90′s” — equal roles for equal partners. The first morning back from their Bahamas resort honeymoon, John brought Jill breakfast in bed. But, Jill wasn’t impressed with his culinary skills. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, “Poached? I wanted…
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight to Toronto. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence,…
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An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. “You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301 There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is …
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